Friday, November 14, 2008

End of week musings

Weigh in today: 207lbs. Same as last week. Same as the week before that. Same as.....ah forget it. At least this time I'm not whining about it. As mentioned before, I gave myself a break this week dietwise. I didn't go nuts, but I didn't worry about enjoying something i might have wanted. Like last night, we had Subway for dinner, not unusual, but i bought 6 cookies with it that Red and I shared. And they were pretty good if I might say so myself. Funny thing, Red bought a package of cookies from the grocery store too. Oh well.....

I noticed something this week. As I gave myself license to have something if I wanted it, I found there was nothing I was really craving. Which was odd because when I'm trying to stick to my diet and not partake in these little sins, I find myself wanting all sorts of stuff. But after having some pizza, KFC, doughnuts, Harveys and cookies this week, I'm finding myself not wanting it anymore. And to be honest, I didn't enjoy it as much as I usually would have.

I wonder if the absence of guilt has something to do with this? Perhaps my mindset of feeling deprived makes me want these things more than when I don't have restrictions. I have to say, it's an odd feeling knowing that I can enjoy something yet not really wanting anything. I find myself still reaching for the grapes and clementines we bought, there's something unmatched about their cool freshness that keeps me coming back. Unlike some of the other items i've enjoyed in recent days. Maybe it's over. The wanting. The craving. I hope so, that would be a great thing.

I'm still hitting the gym doing the whole routine. I've started to add weight to the reps as my body gets stronger. I don't want to push it and risk hurting myself (again), but when you aren't struggling to get those last couple of reps up, it's time to add. In the past 4 weeks, I've added 10lbs to my dumbell chest presses, on Monday I'll add another 5lbs bringing it up to 40lbs from a start of 25. My arms and shoulders are holding steady, I haven't increased them as yet. I've also added weight to my lats and back work so I'm making progress in the strength department.

As for my floor work, the pain in my legs and ass from lunges seems to be on and off, but its not too bad. Adding dumbells to the routine seems to cause more stress and thus, pain. But eventually your legs get accustomed to lifting your own body weight and you need to add to it. I'm at this point. Besides everyone else I see doing lunges uses dumbells so I should too. It's been a month, it's time. Most of my problem here, and with exercise in general, is that I find a comfort zone and I don't step out of it. This is not conducive to increasing my fitness level.

Take the elliptical for example: I've been doing this thing for about 9 years and I don't increase the intensity which would work my legs harder. In fact, a few months ago, I actually decreased the intensity from "8" which was a decent workout, to a "7". I believe this particular elliptical has intensity levels ranging from 0 to 15. So I'm working in the middle of the pack, not bad, but let's admit it: lazy. There's no reason for me not to increase the level 1 or 2 notches for the extra burn and an "8" isn't really a hard ride. Again, lazy.

The stationary bike is another one. Since its usually my last stop before hitting the showers, I look upon it as a "cooling down" exercise so I go easy. Too easy I think. It wouldn't hurt me to increase the intensity of that machine so that i at least work up or keep up a sweat. But alas, I peddle easy and read a magazine, old habits die hard.

I read somewhere online a while back something a trainer was saying about how people go to the gym, do their routines, but don't see results then whine about it. He said if they put in some real effort when they do their work, instead of sitting on a bike reading a magazine or watching the TV, they would notice a difference. And it's true. I've always noticed people lallygagging along at the gym, more interested in reading or watching the tube when biking, walking the treadmill, or using the elliptical than focusing on the exercise at hand. And to be honest, I can't recall ever seeing any of them improve body wise. It takes more than just showing up and running thru a half assed routine. It takes focus and effort. And I'm just a guilty of it as anyone. I may spend more time at the gym than some of them, and I may work a little harder since sometimes it appears they've set the intensity at its lowest setting, but I could work harder.

With lifting, i do work hard, but I probably don't put enough effort in. But in my defence, I am worried about hurting myself. And I don't have a spotter. You can only lift so much until you require someone standing there watching in case your muscles fail and you can't get that bar up that one last time. But I do try. Really I do. My laziness is mostly in cardio. I really should put more effort into it.

As I reflect upon the past week, I'm looking forward to getting back to normalcy in my diet. Truth is, i'm just not enjoying the sins. And if I'm not going to enjoy them, then what's the point? And I have to give the diet and new exercise routine an honest chance to work before I declare it an abysmal failure. As stated in the past, I've got to get rid of the bread. I think that's the biggest issue facing me. The junk I can take or leave so that's not a problem as I'm about done with it. And I think I will add some intensity to my cardio workout next week. I'm way overdue there and anything more will only burn more calories.

I was talking to a guy in the locker room I've gotten to know a bit and he said something I've often said myself, "I just have no gas in the tank this week." I reminded him that while sometimes it truly is physical and your body just needing a break, many times it's mental and it's important to work through that, to get your head in the game. He agreed and said his trainer says the same thing. So working out is a mental game as much as it is a physical one. I've always known this, my headspace is my greatest nemesis. Always has been. I need to gear up again and take this thing to the next level. And I will. I will see 190lbs or less by summer, if not before. I will NOT be bloaty for my wedding pics. NO CHANCE IN HELL!!

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